Hey first of all sorry that I haven't been online for so long, but I was in the Netherlands and when I came back to Nigeria I was unwise busy. My oh so ambitious husband has so many ideas about how we can change and expand our business that I had to force him to take a rest after the first week. Around Christmas we suddenly had many occasions where we had to go to. The first occasion we had to attend was the funeral of an uncle. You would think that this would not be the happiest affair, but here in Nigeria they don't really mourn during the funeral but they celebrate person's life.
We as a direct family had to go dressed in uniform. Here you shouldn't think of a regular uniform that everyone looks the same, because this isn't the case. Before the funeral a fabric is chosen that is intended for the family members. What the single persons do with this material is entirely up to them. For example, my mother-in-law and I have traditionally tied it as 'wrappa', while other women have had dresses made from it. The men can also have a shirt or something made of it, but my husband and his brothers have worn it like a scarf around their necks. In Europe you don't have this, of course, but I personally find it very beautiful to see. For example, the ladies of the church also wear their own uniforms and it makes you see the distinction between people.
A funeral here is generally different from what we know from Europe.For example, peopleare not buried in a cemetery, but in their front yard (something I really have to get used to). What really made an impression on me is that once the husband is under the ground the widow has to be shaved bold by another widow and from that moment she can only wear white clothes for about 6 month. This is the grieving process for them.
As I mentioned earlier, the eldest son takes over the role of his father after he died, so the support is shown to him. This happens in groups, so my mother-in-law and her siblings went first and then we went with my husband's siblings. All this happens in a very cheerful way, with music and dans. You also show your support by bringing crates of drinks and presenting a well-filled envelope to the son.
For me all this was a whole new experience because this was the first funeral that I had to walk next to my husband as head of the family. It was exciting for me because I didn't quite knew what I was supposed to do, but I got my husband's praise that he was proud of me, which means all went well.